In this article we will attempt to give some clear advice to all
single Christians who are beginning the dating process and are wanting to know
the right motives they should have regarding marriage.
Single Christians may
need to overcome a burden of guilt regarding wanting to be in a loving
relationship. This may have arisen through a feeling of unworthiness or lack of
self-esteem: I don't deserve to get married, God doesn't love me enough to find
me a partner or similar thoughts.
The truth is that, right from the start, God
has not wanted people to be alone. Adam was the first human being God created
and He thought that Adam should not be on his own, in fact it was the first
thing God said was not good when everything else in the garden of Eden was
perfect. So, if Gods purpose for his creation was for them not be alone then we
can be sure that He has not changed and He still wants everyone to be married
like Adam was.
Of course we now live in a fallen world and Gods plan for
marriage may not be perfected in all our lives the same as any of His may not
be perfected.
This is no reason not to pursue them though. So much of the
Kingdom of God is built on relationship (perhaps all of it) and marriage within
Gods plan is at is heart. The Bible says that marriage is a mystery that
mirrors Christs relationship with His Church. If this was the best illustration
St Paul could use then surely marriage is a significant thing for Christians.
The New Testament says that people should marry to avoid falling into
immorality. Marriage is the best place for intimacy as it is a committed and
blessed relationship.
People go into marriage wanting that security from being
with their partners. Intimacy outside this is temporary and risky both
physically and emotionally and does not carry Gods blessing. Christians should
not be scared of intimacy and consider it somehow non-spiritual, the truth is
that it is deeply spiritual and can provide great healing within a marriage.
Single Christians should seriously consider their own need for true intimacy
before they begin dating, as this should not become a shock to them once they
get married. God wants single Christians to marry because He wants children to
be born into the Christian community.
We mention this lastly as we believe that
the relationship aspects of marriage should be thought about first. If the
relationship motives are not right then having children will not fix things.
So
there are a number of good reasons why single Christians should be happy to
seek marriage without feeling selfish or guilty. Seeking what is good for ones
life is not to be criticized and people should encourage others looking to
improve the quality of their lives through a married relationship.
