6 Women Christian Men Should Avoid

Here are six women Christian men should avoid dating or, most certainly, considering for marriage.

Follow-up to our article 6 men Christian women should avoid

A Woman Who Doesn’t Believe

This is the most important factor of all.  Since we are commanded to not be unequally yoked with nonbelievers, then how much more so should a man not even consider dating someone who doesn’t believe (2 Cor 6:14)?  A Christian man should never consider dating an unbeliever, just as no woman should ever think about dating a nonbelieving man.  It’s foolish to think that you can date her and lead her to saving faith in Christ. This could certainly backfire on you.

Women Who Don’t Put God First

This may be one of the greatest factors for men to consider in not dating a woman.  If a woman never puts God first, then she may be putting herself first.  If she doesn’t put God first, then she’ll likely have you way down on her priority list, too.  No woman or man, for that matter, who doesn’t seek God and His kingdom first and foremost (Matt 6:33) should ever be dated

Women Who Don’t Like Children

Men should avoid dating any woman who doesn’t like children. What happens if this arrangement leads to marriage and later on there are children born into your family?  You can sense how she might be around children in church or in public, but you can also tell by her regard for children in general during conversations.  There is nothing more revealing about a person’s character than the way they react to children when encountered.

Women Who Don’t Pray

If you are considering dating a woman but have never had any inclination that this woman prays, then this could be a sign that she would not be a good match for you.  I believe that prayer is the pulse of the believer’s spiritual life, and if there is no prayer, there is no pulse.

Women Who Speak Ill of Their Parents

Do you know how this woman treats her mother?  How does she speak about her father?  Is there a good relationship with her parents?   If you have started to date or are considering dating a woman, first meet her parents or ask her about her parents and see how she speaks about them.   If there is no natural respect or love for her parents, maybe you could ask her why.  No one has perfect parents, of course, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still try to honor them.

Women With Warning Signs

Another type of woman who men should not consider dating is one who drinks in excess or has a substance abuse problem.  There are warning signs that are sometimes present, such as drinking early in the day or taking an inordinate amount of pills, even if they are prescribed.   She may have a valid reason for taking medicine, but if you sense in your heart that something is wrong, ask her why she might be taking certain medications.  There is nothing wrong with asking someone you are considering dating a few questions if you have concerns.  A woman who’s not trying to hide anything shouldn’t have any hesitation in addressing your concerns.

Conclusion

Before a man dates any woman, be as sure as you can that she’s been born again and has shown fruits of conversion (John 15).  Dating can often lead to marriage, but no marriage is always better than a bad one because it could lead to a potential divorce, and God never intended for a man and a woman to divorce, but to marry until death do they part.

May God richly bless you,

6 Men Christian Women Should Avoid

Here are six types of men that you should avoid in having a friendship or a relationship with:

Men Who Don’t Put God First

I believe that this one is the most important of all.  If a man doesn’t put God first in His life then he’ll likely put you way down in his list of priorities.  A man that has Jesus Christ at the center of his life will also likely hold his girlfriend or wife in high regard because men are commanded to love their wife like Christ loved the church and gave his life for her (Eph 5:25).

Men Who Are Consumed with Hobbies

My wife loves college netball and basketball and even hockey but she isn’t consumed with them.  She would rather do things with the family and miss a game than be glued to the TV until the game or games are over.  If a man has a compulsion with hobbies, you might end up in second place to whatever it is he is consumed with.  Wouldn’t you rather have a man that is consumed with glorifying God first and then put his wife or girlfriend next?

Men Who Mistreat Their Mother

Any man that speaks harshly or mistreats his mother is likely to treat the other females in his life the same way.  For one thing, he is breaking the Fifth Commandment to honor his father and your mother.   There is a strong correlation between how a man treats his mother with how he will treat his girlfriend or wife.  This is a strong red flag if he is harsh or mistreats his mother.

Men Who Only Care About Themselves

I once heard about a woman who complained that her husband acted like God.   He all but wanted to be worshiped.  Everything had to be about him and he wanted to always be the center of attention.  Now God is worthy of that place in our life but no man should ever take center stage or the woman should immediately exit stage left!

Men Who Treat Animals Harshly

Women, take a close look at how a man treats his pets or treats other animals.   All animals are part of God’s creation too and we read in the first few chapters of Genesis that God said “and it was good” and this included the creation of animals so if a man mistreats animals or acts with indifference in their care, then that man would be one that I would avoid at all costs.

How is He around Children?

Another red flag is if you see a man who doesn’t like children or even like to be around them.  Children are precious to God and if this man is a potential mate and father to your children and he can’t stand being around children or has a short fuse around them, take warning because he may treat them even worse when he has his own family and you’d likely be better off without this type of man.

May God richly bless you,

Pastor Jack Wellman

4 qualities of a keeper: how to recognize a good guy

When it comes to marriage, don't settle. Read on for the non-negotiable traits in your future husband.

I have a dear friend who was once vivacious and cheerful. As a teenage girl, she had a promising future. She was beautiful, warm, smart and talented. She dated a lot and was widely admired. She had "the pick of the litter" as far as guys went. In college, she met a charismatic guy who made her laugh. He swept her off her feet and they married.

Soon enough, she found out that Prince Charming was really a sociopath. She stayed with him for the sake of her children and suffered in an unhappy, abusive marriage for many years before leaving.

Marriage is a hugely exciting prospect, but when you're in love with someone, sometimes your emotions can cloud your judgment. Maybe he's a fun guy, but is he worthy to take your hand in marriage? Can you imagine him as the father of your children?

Of course, you don't want to spend your life with "Mr. Blah," but bear in mind the long road ahead. Before committing to the wrong guy, consider the following all-time top four qualities of a keeper. Remember, this is your future we're talking about!

• 1. He is kind to young children and old women

A guy who is both tender with kids and respectful to the elderly is worth a second look. I have a brother-in-law who adores my kids. Even after having children of his own, he makes my kids feel special and cool. He loves roughhousing with them and blending fruit smoothies for them. Every year, he prepares an elaborate Halloween bash, complete with a homemade piñata, games, prizes and creepy decorations. His children, nieces and nephews are nuts about him.

Similarly, a guy who is a gentleman to his mom and other women is a keeper. A man's behavior toward women says volumes about the type of person he is.

• 2. He is willing to get his hands dirty

When the car stalls or the gutters need cleaned, it's sure handy to have a manly guy around. Even if your guy isn't a skilled mechanic or handyman, it's nice to have someone who will dig in and not shy away from hard work.

A guy with a strong work ethic will teach your children the value of hard work. Don't settle for someone lazy or someone who won't pitch in to help maintain your home. A man who extends a helping hand to others is someone worthy of your love, too.

• 3. He isn't in love with himself

Steer clear of the guy who moons over himself. You know — the guy who never saw a mirror he didn't like.

Who wants to spend her life with a vain man? It's fine to want to look nice, and no one wants to be with a slob — but pay attention to your man's ego and make sure he's not a slave to fashion (for example, too hipster) or his physique. You don't want a selfish or narcissistic hubby.

• 4. He is honest

When you've snagged an honest man, you can be assured of several things. Your husband won't be unfaithful to you. He'll be true to his co-workers, boss, friends and family members. He'll be upfront in his financial dealings. When he makes mistakes, he won't hide them from you because he is a man of honor.

You'll enjoy peace of mind and feel more secure in your marriage with an honest man.

Each of these four attributes points to another attribute: humility. Find and marry someone who is humble, because he will regard you more highly than himself.