My soul was overwhelmed with my
to-do list from our recent move. My life felt turned upside down.
Out of order. Lacking routine. Yet, I knew I needed to put my
home in order because if my home wasn’t in order, my head wouldn’t be either.
I’m the keeper of the home so my
family was naturally looking to me to know where to put away such and such
item, as well as where to find it a few weeks later!
Where are the light bulbs?
What drawer is cup and plates in? Where are the towels so I can take
a shower? And what’s for dinner?
To say I was irritated with the
men in my home was a complete understatement. After all, it wasn’t that
hard to open up a few drawers in the kitchen to figure out where the forks
were.
And then to hear my husband
complain about how I was setting up the home, well, that didn’t go over too
well for me. It wasn’t like I was dragging my feet and procrastinating on
this business of unpacking. I had all of our boxes unpacked within the
first 3 weeks of us moving. Even in the midst of workers who had to be
coordinated to show up and fix the plumbing problems, mold problems, roof
leaks, and air conditioning issues.
Yes, all of those issues could
set any woman over the edge and cause her to lose it in 2 seconds!
I laid in bed from sheer
exhaustion when I asked myself this question,
“What kind of wife do I want to
be?”
Sure, I could blame my husband or
my peers for pushing me over the edge. Or I could blame my circumstances
for the pressure I was under. But I had to look deeper within my soul.
Would I allow my circumstances to
dictate my character?
Yeah, that question hurt.
What did I need to do to be
Christ-centered rather than me-centered? And the thought returned…
What kind of wife do I want to
be?
In the midst of trying
times in our lives, that one little question is a great question to ask
ourselves. It helps up to keep our priorities straight. It causes
us to contemplate our actions and attitudes. To readjust our hearts and
seek out the Living Water when our souls are parched.
So I came up with this list to
remind myself of the type of wife I’d like to be regardless of what my husband
does or doesn’t do.
After all, he is not the one I
bow down to.
He is not the one I’ll stand
before when my life here on earth is over.
He is not the one my soul cries
out to serve.
And he is not my Savior.
That position belongs solely to Jesus Christ.
Bottom line:
A wife’s character should
not be determined by her husband’s character.
7 Virtues
a Christ-Centered Wife Should Pursue
1. Gracious.
Definition: pleasantly kind,
benevolent, and courteous.
- Good-hearted.
- Approachable.
- Hospitable.
- Accepting.
Opposite of Gracious:
- Critical.
- Impolite.
- Irritable.
Scripture to meditate
on: Whoever loves a pure heart and gracious speech will have the king
as a friend. Proverbs 22:11 (NLT)
Application: A wife with gracious speech will
have her husband as her friend.
2. Supportive.
Definition: Providing
sympathy or encouragement.
- Helpful.
- Complementary.
Opposite of Supportive:
- Self-centered.
- Discouraging.
- Opposition.
- Disapproval.
Scripture to meditate on: …even
there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.
Psalm 139:10 (NLT)
Application: A supportive wife will provide
strength to her husband.
3. Respectful.
Definition of
Respectful: full of, characterized by, or showing politeness or deference.
- Admire.
- Humble.
- Adore.
- Honor.
- Regard.
Opposite of Respectful:
- Inconsiderate.
- Proud.
Scripture to meditate on:…and let
the wife see that she respects her husband. Eph. 5:33
Application: This command from the Lord
did not come with a clause. Nowhere in scripture does it say, “If my
husband deserves my respect, then I’ll choose to respect him.” Because I
want to be a wise wife, I think I’ll listen to the Lord instead of my emotions.
Will you as well?
4. Faithful.
Definition of Faithful: true to
one’s word, promises, vows, etc. Steady in allegiance or affection.
- Loyal.
- Constant.
- Unwavering.
- Reliable.
- Excellent.
Opposite of Faithful:
- Unstable.
- Inconsistent.
- Uncertain.
Scripture to meditate on: An
excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
Proverbs 31:10
Application: Your worth as a capable,
faithful, and honorable wife is more precious than jewels. See the value
in your noble role.
5. Wise.
Definition of Wise: having
the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right;
possessing discernment, judgment, or discretion.
- Intelligent.
- Reasonable.
- Aware.
- Careful.
Opposite of Wise:
- Foolish.
- Careless.
- Inattentive.
Scripture to meditate on: A
wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own
hands. Proverbs 14:1 (NIV)
Application: A wise wife will build up her
husband with encouraging and gracious words.
6. Kind.
Definition of Kind: of a
good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person.
- Affectionate.
- Tender-hearted.
- Compassionate.
- Considerate.
Opposite of Kind:
- Disagreeable.
- Thoughtless.
- Rude.
- Mean.
Scripture to meditate
on: Your kindness will reward you, but your cruelty will destroy you.
Proverbs 11:17 (NLT)
Application: A kind wife will bring reward to
your soul and to your husband’s, but a cruel wife will bring destruction to
your marriage.
7. PASSIONATE
Definition of
Passionate: having, compelled by, or ruled by intense emotion or strong
feeling; fervid.
- Loving.
- Romantic.
Opposite of Passionate:
- Apathetic.
- Uncaring.
- Cold.
Scripture to meditate
on: But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is
better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Cor. 7:9 (NIV)
Application: At one point in our
relationship, we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. Seek to
rekindle that type of passion rather than let it die down.
His glory….I want it to spill out
into my soul. When this happens, His glory spills out into the souls of
those around me, namely my husband. That’s the kind of wife I want to be. One
who declares His glory to a dark world, and sometimes a dark home when you cant
find the light bulbs.
What kind of wife do you want to
be? Are you willing to embrace these 7 virtues?
Live a poured out life for
Christ,
