5 Common Lies the World Tells Us About Sex

It’s Normal

Many state that since God made us as sexual beings, it is perfectly normal to express our sexuality. I agree, but only if it is within the confines of marriage. There are different destinations for those who live in sexual immorality (Rev. 21:8), with one being a much different and much better destination for those who live a life of holiness (Rev. 22). It is not normal to have sex outside of marriage; it is abnormal, in fact.

You’re Entitled

This lie is also an often-used line by those who seek to have sex outside of marriage. The truth is that we all deserve the wrath of God, but He died for all who repent and trust in Him. If a person has actually repented, this means that they have turned their back on their former lifestyle of sin and have forsaken their sins. No one who still lives in sin can claim to have any assurance of their salvation (1 John 3).

If You Love Me, You Will...

I have counselled many couples, and one of the most frequent things I hear is that a woman’s boyfriend says, “If you love me, you’ll have sex with me.” In actuality, the very opposite is true. If he loved you, he would wait for marriage to have sex because the marriage bed is undefiled (Heb. 13:4). All sex outside of marriage is an abomination to God, regardless of what a man might say because just as Paul said, “I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God” (Gal. 5:21).

Everyone Else Is Doing It

No, not everyone else is doing it. When I was in high school, the boys who had not been with a girl before were deemed out of the ordinary and that something must be wrong with them when the truth is, everything is right about them. Some of the vulgar and debased language used about women in the locker rooms is just horrendous. If these women could have heard what these young men were saying, bragging about having so and so and wearing it like a badge of honor, I am sure they would have been disgusted.
‘Do not deprive one another…’ so the Bible says.

1 Corinthians 7:14 is quoted out of context just to lure one into giving in, in the name of, ‘tusinyimane’ Sex outside the boundary of marriage as we have said is not allowed and its sinful and even if you are married you should be faithful to your partner.

Conclusion

There are more than just these five lies about having sex outside of marriage. The lies that it is perfectly normal; that they’re entitled to it; that if you really loved them, you’d have sex with them;  that everyone else is doing it and; that we should not deprive one another by quoting a biblical verse out of context, are straight out of the pit of hell.

May God richly bless you,

10 Personalities that have no Place in Christian Marriage.

By Pastor Jason.

My dear bride and I have been married for sixteen years. We have learned a great deal over those years together. What was a rocky beginning has become a sweet and glorious union. There is seldom a day that goes by that I don’t thank the Lord for my wife. Our marriage isn’t perfect, because neither of us within this marriage is perfect (though she is surely closer to perfection than me). However, I can say by the grace and mercy of God that we have a good marriage. There are different lessons that we have learned over the past sixteen years. Some were more painful to learn than others and some are lessons that we will need to continually grow in. There are many who read this blog and have been married longer than us. No doubt, you have more wisdom to offer on this subject then me. I would welcome your thoughts in the comments below. As a pastor, who has counseled many couples, and as a veteran of sixteen years of marriage, I have found that these ten personalities have no place in Christian marriage:

1. Secret Agent: We can’t have secret expectations. Our spouse needs to know and we need to give voice to our expectations within the marriage relationship. It isn’t fair or even wise to keep these thoughts from our spouses. They need to know. If we aren’t willing to give expression to an expectation, than it shouldn’t be one. In truth, we are often reluctant to share these silent expectations, because once we hear them uttered from our mouths we realize how petty and unnecessary they are.

2. Debater: Debates are good in politics, the classroom, and at the water cooler. They aren’t helpful in marriage. Never argue for the sake of arguing in your marriage. Don’t debate to win a point, a round, or a plan. It is a lose-lose proposition. Be willing to discuss and disagree, but never debate.

3. Warrior: Our conflict is not with our spouse. Our battle is not “against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Eph. 6:12). Our spouse is never to be viewed as our adversary and neither are we to be viewed their adversary. We are united together in Christ to wage this good fight alongside each other, not against one another. I am not her enemy and she is not mine. We are compatriots and fellow soldiers linked arm and arm waging battle with evil as our Lord Jesus leads us in this good and holy fight. Let us “stir up one another to love and good works” (Heb. 10:24) and not against one another.

4. Mommy/Daddy Me: Most of us love being parents, but this cannot supersede our first calling as a husband or wife. It is a grievous mistake to place our children over our marriage relationship. If our marriage is suffering, our kids are suffering. If our marriage is thriving, the blessings cascade down upon our children like the oil poured out upon Aaron’s head and running down his beard (Psalm 133). It is like the dew of Hermon which falls on the mountains of Zion–it gives life.

5. Finger-Pointer: Our wife’s sin is not just her issue “to get over.” Neither are our husband’s sins purely his struggles “to get past.” We are united together. We are one flesh (Gen.2:24). God has given us one another to walk the path of righteousness hand-in-hand. Let us “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2).

6. Holy Spirit Impostor: One of the great traps of Christian marriage is being more concerned about my spouse’s spiritual state than my own. It is a kind of super-spirituality that comes in the guise of love and righteousness, when it is anything but. Rather, it smacks of hypocrisy. We are not the Holy Spirit and we are not our spouse’s conscience. It is far too easy to be distracted from our own responsibilities when we have our target fixed on another.

7. Milquetoast: Loving and appreciating grace does not mean avoiding all hard things in marriage. Some Christian husbands and wives are confined by the false belief that being grace-centered means avoiding all conflict, disagreement, and confrontation. We are “grace people,” and sometimes the greatest manifestation of that grace is the willingness to breech hard subjects and wade through difficult issues. A gracious spouse will speak the truth, always in love, but will speak the truth (Eph. 4:12) for the betterment of their spouse and their marriage to the glory of God.

8. Accuser: Things forgiven in the past are not weapons to be wielded in the present. It doesn’t matter whether they were sins or errors committed before the marriage or after the wedding vows were taken. It doesn’t matter whether they were particular sins committed against us or someone else. Forgiven matters are forgiven. Are there consequences? Sure. May we need to discuss these things in counseling or pray about them together? Yes. But they are not a sledge-hammer to be used in times of disagreement, an example to use for the sake of argumentation, nor a thought to hold our spouse captive to our wishes. They have been buried in a deep chasm and sealed with our forgiveness by the grace of God. There they are to remain, unless they need to be brought forth and never as something to hold over the head of the other.

9. Me Monster: “Love does not insist on its own way” (1 Cor. 13:5). We must not seek our own interests first. If we are both pursuing the other’s interests than both of our needs are met, not begrudgingly, but willingly.

10. Dictator: Christian marriage is not to be domineered by one spouse or the other. The husband is the head of the marriage union (Eph. 5), but he is not its king. Both the husband and the wife serve one single King. He dictates the rules, character, and purpose for this relationship. Whether our inclination is to seek control of the marriage by force or passive aggressive silence, it is wrong. We are not try and dominate where we have no right. Ultimately, this marriage is not “ours” to do with it what we will. It is His. It falls within His dominion and we both serve His Kingdom, not our own. Our marriage is to be a living breathing earthly sign pointing to the reality of Christ’s union with the Church (Eph. 5). This is what is to dominate, dictate, and rule our marriages: the glory of Christ our exalted Head, King, and Bride-Groom. Not us. What a glorious thing Christian marriage is!

Facebook can wreck your relationships in the following 3 ways.

Wrecking your relationship could just be a click away.

Social media is one of the greatest tools on the planet for staying connected, but ironically, it's also potentially one of the most dangerous forces for tearing relationships apart.

Here are a few of the most dangerous and destructive behaviours that you should avoid at all costs. If you don't have the self-control to stop doing these things online, you, your relationships and the world would probably be a lot better off if you just deleted all your social media accounts.

If you want to protect your relationships and your own reputation, NEVER do the following…

• 1. Publicly criticize or vent about someone

Especially in marriage, one of your primary roles as a spouse is to protect your spouse. That protection is not only a physical protection but a protection of their honour. It is never appropriate to air someone else's dirty laundry in a public forum just to make yourself feel justified in your frustration towards them. This is also not a way to promote healing or growth in your relationship; it just creates a cycle of more resentment and dysfunction. Praise people publicly and if there's ever a need for criticism, always give it privately and humbly.

• 2. Post anything at all while you're angry or intoxicated

Anger and alcohol have one thing in common…they both make you say things that you'll usually regret later. Ranting while you're angry is kind of like throwing up…it might make you feel better, but it will make everyone around you feel sick.

• 3. Belittle people with opinions or beliefs different than your own

Especially in election seasons, I watch in disbelief as my "friends" from both sides of the aisle sling mud at one another on Facebook. There's rarely healthy or meaningful dialogue or debate; only insults and generalizations. I'm a person of strong convictions and I hope you are as well, but climbing on to an online soapbox and shouting insults at those who disagree with us isn't a way to build relationships or win people to our way of thinking; it's just another way to damage relationships.

Here's the bottom line…every word you speak (whether online or in person) has lasting effects, so let wisdom guide your words. When I was a kid, Mom would say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!" I think that's especially good advice when it comes to social media.

Here's one final nugget of ancient wisdom to consider before you post a rant online…"Whoever belittles another lacks sense, but an intelligent person remains silent." Proverbs 11:12