Keeping
love and romance fresh and alive in marriage takes intentionality and thoughtfulness.
In the early years of dating, engagement, and marriage the wonder and effort
poured into a relationship can seem natural. Here are some simple ways to
refresh your marriage this week. Choose one or all five as a way to pour your
love on your spouse and let them know how much they mean to you.
1. Write
Take the time to write a note or
letter expressing what you appreciate about your spouse. Our recommendation is
to focus on character qualities and endearing personality traits. Choose three
things to list out. If you can, give some recent examples of when you observed
those traits in their lives.
2. Tell
Choose a time when you can have
your spouse’s full attention. It may be over dinner, on a drive, or just before
bed. Let them know that you have something positive you’d like to tell them
(that way they don’t worry and you pique their interest!).
Let your spouse know how much you
believe in them. Everyone needs a fan—a cheerleader—and God has placed you in
that role for your spouse. Tell them what you believe about their future, where
you see their abilities thriving, and the influence you believe they can have
in the years to come.
3. Do
On a practical level, do a
household task for them that they usually do. It may be something that you know
they really don’t enjoy, or a task that is particularly time-consuming. When
they ask why, just let them know you wanted to free them up to do something
else they would enjoy more!
Another thing you might consider
is to do a project that you know they’ve been wanting to have done for long
time. You may have to wait a week or two to gather supplies or block off the
time needed, but there’s nothing wrong with setting a date in the near future
to accomplish a task that’s been “out there” for a while!
4. Ask
Proactively
ask your spouse for two things you can be praying about in the coming week that
are on their heart. Make the commitment to pray about those two things every
day over the next week. You might even ask if you can pray with them right now
about their prayer concerns.
Be sure to follow up next week
and ask about those requests. It’s been said that “a shared burden is half a
burden” and your desire to carry that burden in prayer will be refreshing to
their spirit.
5.
Express
Make the effort to show love to
your spouse according to their love language.
The five love languages are:
Quality Time, Touch, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Words of Encouragement. We’re
all a blend of these, but each of us has a dominant style.
So this week, think through how
you can simply express your love to your mate the way that will best connect to
their heart. It might not feel natural because it isn’t your style, but
it will be meaningful to your spouse.
As you practice any or all of
these ideas, we believe they will refresh their heart and help keep the fires
of love and romance alive as you build your marriage!
