Did you know there are sins that
can cripple every marriage?
Yes. There are.
You realize there are no perfect
marriages because there are no perfect people.
Right?
Let me repeat that.
There are no perfect marriages
because there are no perfect people.
Every marriage will have seasons
that are more difficult than others. I often encounter couples in our church
who think they are unique. Because we tend to put on our happy faces at church,
they believe theirs is the only marriage in a bad season.
In fact, I’m convinced not
understanding how many couples have weathered through these rocky places in
marriage may be a reason many couples give up on their marriage. If they
understood how normal they are they might be more willing to raise the white
flag—ask for help—and work to restore the marriage.
I have observed over the years
that there are some issues in marriages, which, if not addressed, can be
crippling to the marriage. These are the “biggies.” They may manifest themselves
in other ways, but if you could trace back to the origin, you would find these
to be at fault.
And let’s not sugarcoat. They are
sins. And we have all sinned. And we all sin. Every marriage is comprised of
two sinners.
And this is the real reason there
are no perfect marriages.
Left to fester on their own,
these sins will eventually be the destroyer of the marriage or certainly keep
it from achieving the oneness God commanded.
So, what are these damaging sins?
I’m glad you asked.
Here are
seven damaging sins that can cripple every marriage:
Selfishness—Marriage won’t work without
mutual submission. Read Ephesians 5:21. Marriage is not a 50/50 arrangement.
Ideally it’s to be a 100/100 bond—where both spouses willingly yield their all.
(And I used the word ideal, because your marriage is not there and neither is
mine.) When one spouse demands their way or will never work toward a
compromise, the relationship can never be all it should be. One person is
happy—the one who got their way—the other is miserable.
Discontentment—I’ve said before—boredom is
perhaps the number one destroyer of marriage. There will be seasons in every
relationship that aren’t as “exciting” as others. Some days you will
“feel” more in love than other days. But the key to a long-term relationship is
a commitment beyond emotion.
Pride—When one spouse can never admit
they are wrong or see their own flaws, it opens the door for a wedge of
bitterness in the other spouse. Pride is also destructive when the couple is
too proud to admit their struggles or get the help they need.
Unforgiveness—Holding on to past hurts not only
damages the marriage bond, it destroys the person who refuses to forgive. Trust
can’t be developed until forgiveness is granted. And isn’t grace received
expected to be extended?
Anger—The Scripture is clear—we should
not go to bed in anger. And there is a reason. Anger is a wedge—one which only
grows wider when not dealt with over time.
Complacency—As soon as you think your
marriage is above the problems of other relationships, you’re in trouble. The
enemy loves to attack the unaware.
Coveting—Couples who compare themselves to
other couples will almost always be disappointed. There will always be people
with more—and it likely isn’t making them as happy as you think it does. And,
keep in mind, many times people disguise their struggles well. The couple you
think has it all may wish they had what you have. Every couple is unique.
Comparison only leads to frustration.
Ask yourself this question: Which
of these is most prevalent in my marriage today? Which is causing the greatest
harm? Which of these, while it may not be an issue today, could be if we don’t
get serious about it soon?
Be honest with yourself—and
ultimately—with your spouse.
