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Lucxama and Sylvain |
The
basic element of being one in marriage is companionship. Like friends, couples
need to be open with each other about their interests, dreams and goals.
It
is difficult for a married couple to deal with certain problems when there are
no common goals established. Goals enable the couple to realize that they are
not competing against each other, and help them to work together and support
one another.
Married
couples should cooperate and work towards these dreams and goals with all
dedication and devotion. Do not give up if you and your spouse’s goals appear
to be too different. Talk and recognize that you both have needs, and try to
set goals that will enable both sets of needs to be satisfied. Often, as you
share your dreams, you will discover that in fact you both have similar dreams
and goals; it was just the direction that you each wanted to take was
different. This difference of direction can then be dealt with as you talk.
Often
when you take time to communicate with each other regarding your needs and
motivations, you will be surprised to learn that you both have identical dreams
and goals. This is likely to be what drew you together in the first place.
So
what types of goals should you set? Goals can center on your children, the
family as a whole, your individual careers, your possessions and your pastimes.
The
following are guidelines to better understand and relate with your partner’s
goals:
1.
Know your spouse. Pay close attention to his or her habits and values.
2.
Bond and respond. Whatever that goes on within your spouses life, in his/her
career, you know that there are dreams and goals in each aspect. So be
sensitive and take part; worry and celebrate in his/her accomplishments.
3. Let your spouse influence you. Be willing to share in his/her decisions. Understand
his/her goals and when you do not agree at some point, at least support him or
her…
4. Compromise.
When your goals do not exactly match, know when to put the brakes if you feel
that the conversation is becoming confrontational. Be calm and tolerant.
When
you both have strong appreciation and understanding of all your dreams and
goals you become closer together as a married couple, it makes married life a
lot more pleasant and easier to handle. After all, you are partners in life.
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