10 lovely words to tell a pregnant woman.

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Pregnant woman in marriage.

1. "You make pregnancy look easy."
2. "That’s the perfect bump I have ever seen."
3. "Being pregnant suits you."
4. "You’re glowing."
5. "You look great."
6. "You are adorable."
   
7. "You are all Belly."
8. "There is no way this baby is number three."
9. “Congratulations.”
10. “You’re the most beautiful pregnant woman I’ve ever seen”

Now that we’ve cleared that up, keep these 10 compliments in mind the next time you see a pregnant lady on the street.

Point to note: Here are a few examples of what NOT to say to a pregnant woman you meet: “You look like you are having twins,” “Are you overdue,” Guess it’s going to be any day now.”

Add more words and see the following link "Got caught, childing" on you-tube and subscribe at https://youtu.be/cFuaaBJ2gfc

We welcome your feedback.

Christian Sex – 7 Barriers to Fulfilling Married Sexuality.

Many Christian married couples have yet to experience a fulfilling sexuality. Yet, it is an essential ingredient for a vital Christian marriage. 

Couples making love.

Here are 7 barriers to a fun and fulfilling lovemaking for Christian married couples

1. Not knowing what God says about sex.

The first commandment God gave was to engage in sex (Genesis 1: 27-28.) God had just created humanity in His image, commanded them to be fruitful and multiply, and then commented it was good (Genesis 1:31.) Somehow, it seems like this was a priority for Adam and Eve.

2. Talking very little with your spouse about sexuality or your preferences.

When couples can share with their spouse about sexuality or their sexual preferences, intimacy is created. An emotional bond results from the intimate level of vulnerability on a conversational level. A great place to start talking about sex is to share what lovemaking means to you emotionally, how frequent you would like to have sex, and even times of the day or specific days.

3. Engaging out of obligation, rather than enjoyment.

Many believe sex was solely intended for procreation, rather than recreation. To the contrary, the poetic references in the Song of Solomon describe lovemaking that is enjoyable and anticipated. Feel free to have some fun with sex with different positions and places. However, all must be with respect for your spouse’s considerations. I Corinthians 1:4 states that our bodies belong to our mates, not just us. It is written from a spirit of equality, where both spouses are to serve one another, rather than one controlling the other. For one spouse to force the other into sexual behaviors without consent is abusive.

4 Failure to plan.

Many couples, Christians especially, are sexually frustrated. While some of this may be attributed to different sexual appetites, much more is a result of infrequency. Sex is never convenient, but is critical to a vital relationship. Plan for sex like you would any other appointment. Rather than thinking of this as stale, consider that it allows you and your spouse time to plan for the special time together. Planning also alleviates any concerns for sexual deprivation and sexual pressure.

5. Using sex as a reward or punishment.

Sex is often used as a reward for some positive behavior. Or it can be withheld when one spouse is angry with the other. Couples sabotage themselves when their sex life becomes a bartering system. Because of its vulnerability, lovemaking must be unconditional to be meaningful. Find other ways to thank your spouse, and healthy ways to overcome your resentments. 

6. Unresolved sexual abuse issues. 

Sexual abuse issues follow spouses into marriage. Victims of sexual abuse may have an aversion to lovemaking, or experience painful reminders of the past. For some, there may be a distortion of healthy sexuality. If you have been wounded from sexual abuse, realize that you did nothing to deserve this. Furthermore, there is hope. I encourage you to find a counselor that specializes in this area, and begin the road to recovery. It is one thing to survive sexual abuse, and another to overcome it.

 7. Pornography.

The most significant destructive force to a healthy sex life is pornography. And yes, I am talking about Christian marriages. Images are burned into a persons mind, thereby creating an insatiable thirst for more erotic behavior, or harmful behaviors. Some couples have stated the use of pornography enhances their sex life. I disagree. Not only is it degrading, but it fosters empty relationships by focusing on the physical rather than love. If your marriage has been affected by pornography, find a qualified counselor to help you rebuild the intimacy in your marriage.

In my experience as a Christian counselor, a lot of confusion exists amongst married couples regarding a healthy Christian sex life. The reality is that God has given sex as a gift for married couples to embrace rather than tolerate, or misuse. So much of today’s culture promotes a contaminated view of sex. As Christians, lets change our culture by strengthening our marriages with a healthy Christian sexuality.

How to win love back.

Katerina Holmes-Courtesy Pexel.

Learning how to win love back may be able to reignite a burned out relationship. 

Love is a truly fickle emotion that can burn out just as quickly and suddenly as it was originally ignited. 

When outside factors, such as money for example, create stress in a relationship that love is most at risk. Once relationship problems become an issue, love can quickly deteriorate with no resolution in sight. Here are some basic strategies that will show you how to win love back:

* Be Honest – Distrust is one of the leading causes of problems in a relationship. It is extremely important that you are honest with your partner on every possible level, even in situations where the truth is painful. This means that you need to be upfront with things that are bothering you, and you also need to be open about every day activities like finances and how you are doing at work. No one likes to feel like they constantly have to watch over their significant other, so if you want to learn how to win love back, you need to make a commitment to honesty.

* Be Encouraging – Love is all about appreciating one another for who you are and this is a big step in learning how to win love back. Your partner may have different goals and interests than you. The key is to embrace them even if you do not agree with them, and support them with all of your heart. Encourage growth in your partner’s interests, and you will be promoting growth in your relationship.

* Be Dependable – Being dependable is an important part of rebuilding trust with your partner, and learning how to win love back. When you want to learn how to win love back, you need to learn how to follow through with the promises that you make, and you need to make an effort to be on time with the appointments that you make.

* Listen Actively – Communication is one of the most vital ingredients in every healthy relationship, so if you want to learn how to win love back, you need to learn how to communicate more effectively. Not only does this mean that you need to learn how to speak better, but also learning how to listen better as well. This is one of the true keys to learning how to win love back, and no relationship is solid without healthy and proactive communication.

* Act! – Keep in mind that all relationships have ups and downs, even the best ones. If you want to learn how to win love back, you need to be willing to learn how to take action and repair the problems in our relationship. You cannot simply sit back and wait for the relationship problems to go away on their own, as this will make your partner feel alienated more than anything. So if you are ready to learn how to win love back, take the aforementioned advice to heart and take action once and for all.

Why Let Financial Problems Ruin Your Marriage Is money so hard to understand?

RODNAE Productions.

Financial problems in a marriage are definitely a true relationship killer and one of the most common marriage problems that unnecessarily result in divorce.

Money matters are quite simple when you think about it. You can either afford something or you can’t and, if you can’t you have two choices, either stop spending money elsewhere or earn more money.

I’m looking for a new car at the moment which has really got me thinking about the number of people who fund such purchases on finance then struggle to make the repayments. Now I can understand the need for a car and that people aren’t always in the position to buy such an expensive item out right, but what does amaze me is the type of vehicles that people buy on finance.

One of my best friends always buys cars on credit and not any old car, cars such as range rovers, and Mercedes and yet struggles to make monthly loan repayments let alone fund the financing on the car. As a family they look at us and envy the fact that we don’t have to worry when an unexpected bill comes in or if we want something we can just go out and buy it without any concern. That’s because we follow the main golden rule for avoiding financial problems in a marriage, we never spend what we haven’t got and we don’t waste money on unnecessary interest repayments.

It’s quite a simple concept really, if we want something that isn’t critical we wait for it, we only buy what we can afford. If we needed to take out finance for a car we would buy something that would do the job but not a luxury vehicle. Have you ever seen how many luxury cars are repossessed and go through the auctions? What a waste, just look at what is lost in the initial deposit and interest and then the cars lost and sold for peanuts to more the financially astute.

Anyway, back to my friends, there marriage is always under strain because financial problems are continually at the forethought of their minds. They never know from one month to another how they will fund the next mortgage payment or car repayment. Petty things get blown out of perspective because stress levels run high which all stems from the financial problems in the marriage. They get upset with each other and yet they are both to blame, they both want what they can’t afford and even though they earn far more than most, with every penny they earn their expectations increase, their spending increases and the financial problems continue.

So many couples let themselves into financial problems just because they choose to ignore money issues, expect them to disappear, resolve themselves without any effort but, just like any other marriage problem financial issues need to be addressed, nipped in the bud before they become out of hand.

Fighting isn’t the answer, arguing doesn’t solve anything and it certainly doesn’t address the real cause of the problem which is all down to supply and demand. In doesn’t really matter how the original problem occurred, why money is now short and why bills cant be paid and generally the fault doesnt tend to lie with one person, the question is how soon are you both going to face up to the issue, get your head out of the clouds and start doing something about it.

I was speaking to a friend the other night and he was fighting an issue from a totally different corner from his wife to be, forgetting the whole concept that marriage is all down to team work, working together to resolve anything that life throws at you. When you loose focus, fail to see what really matters in life, start arguing and fighting against each other rather than working together to sort such issues out you start to chip away at the very foundations of what could be a solid relationship.

No matter how your financial problems in your marriage developed, blissful ignorance, loan money happy, making an important financial decision without discussing it or just spending too much every week, you have to now sit down together, focus on the issue at hand, forget what has happened in the past, how you got into the situation in the first place and put all your time and energy into sorting it out.

Don’t blame anyone, don’t go looking for a fight just sit down, detail your spending, detail your earnings and then work out how you close the gap. Support each other through the process, work together towards the same goal which is to learn to live within your means whether that be through working more hours, retraining for a higher paid job, finding opportunities to earn extra cash from home or just accepting you are living outside your means and working out how you can spend less. Don’t let financial problems cloud your marriage, sort them out before you destroy something very special and live to regret it.

Give us your feedback and remember to subscribe to this blog. Stay blessed!

When Stresses in Your Marriage Take Their Toll.

Keira Burton.

What do you do when the stresses of your marriage start to become a problem? 

Many couples get mad and argue at one another. This will not do anything except make the problem worse. As a result, here are some ways to deal with your stresses in your marriage.

Talk with your spouse on a daily basis. Communication with one another will prevent any misunderstandings on certain issues. When a problem does come up, discuss your feelings and viewpoints to the other person. Don’t assume that the other person knows how you feel.

Do not take anything for granted in your marriage. Small misunderstandings can become bigger problems in the future. Keep a look out for any red flags in your marriage and confront them before they become bigger issues.

Work with one another. Being in a marriage is like being on a team. Each member must do his or her own part. One person cannot do everything. Work with your spouse in maintaining your marriage.

Try to see things in your spouse’s point of view. This will help you to see where the other person is coming from which will increase your understanding of the situation. Don’t assume that you are the one who has all the answers.

Seek the services of a marriage counselor if you can’t resolve your problems. There is nothing wrong with seeking help. Maintaining a marriage is very difficult so it is important to get additional advice from an experienced professional. Many people seek the services of a marriage counselor nowadays.

Marriage requires a lot of work, however the most important thing is to talk with one another on a regular basis and to confront problems before they become major obstacles in your marriage. This will help reduce a lot of your stresses in your marriage.

Here's How Long You Should Date Before Getting Engaged.

How soon is too soon?

Pavel Danilyk

You are absolutely, mind-blowingly, heart-meltingly in love, but there's just a small problem. You've only known the person for a few months or maybe only a few weeks. You're both hearing wedding bells, but that's crazy, right? Your brain tells you that you need to wait, but your heart… your heart wants to move faster so can start your forever. So, are you love drunk, or is your heart telling you a deeper truth? How soon is too soon to propose? and...

How Long Should You Date Before Getting Engaged?

This might not come as a shock, but there's no definition of what's "normal" when it comes to the question of "how long should you date before getting married?" Answers can vary from decades of dating to four days (wow!). Even though everyone—your parents and extended family members and friends—will have an opinion on the matter, from "You're jumping in too quickly!" to "It took him way too long to propose—are you sure?" there isn't a magic formula. Only you can know when you're ready to take the next step.

Give Yourself Time to Know Your Partner Through the Good Times and the Bad…

Some suggests that one to two years is often a good amount of time to date before getting engaged. I've worked with a lot of couples who have strong relationships, and they met and fell in love quickly and really got to know each other's friends and family," They got to experience what it's like to live with each other or spend a lot of time with each other, go through some life cycle issues, like the loss of a family member or the loss of a friendship, or going to a wedding or funeral and really getting to see each other in a lot of different contexts and feel like it's a good match. And generally, that can happen in a year...

You want to have some problems emerge and see how you deal with problems together. For me, it's more about the range of experiences that lend themselves to compatibility rather than the amount of time.

As you wonder if it's too soon to start talking about marriage with your partner, think about all the experiences you've shared. Have you faced major life challenges together? Have you seen them at their highest and their lowest? Have you had the time to learn about their family and background? Do you know their strengths and their flaws? There is no set time limit to gain this experience.

You can learn a lot about a person quickly, especially if you spend a lot of time together. Alternately, you can date someone for months and years and barely dig beneath their surface.

How Well Do You Communicate?

While each couple's situation is different, it's most important to learn how to communicate when you have a conflict, rather than focus on the time frame. Many couples wait until they are ready to have children, or ready to own property before they marry, there is no 'normal.'

Partners may have an implicit expectation of the length of an engagement that is based on their family, their culture and their community. Sometimes this is different for each partner, and if it is not significantly discussed in a very explicit way, it can lead to misunderstandings. If you're wondering how soon is too soon to propose, take a step back and make sure you and your partner have had those important conversations. You'll want to know your partner's expectations for your relationship. Now might also be a good time to discuss whether you want to have children, how you both deal with money and what you both want for your future.

Are You Past the "Romantic Love" Phase?

One thing to consider if you worry that your relationship is moving too fast is that you might still be in that initial lovey-dovey phase. You know what we're talking about. It's when you can't erase that goofy grin off your face, when every single thing your partner does is perfect and magical at the same time. There is no magic time frame when a couple should date before the engagement, but the rule for any happy and successful marriage is to realize this—all couples go through a 'romantic love' phase. This lasts anywhere from 2 days to 26 months, and then the couple will enter into the power struggle or the conflict phase of their relationship. This is natural and probably will last the rest of your marriage, or forever (the bad news). The good news—with conscious communication and planning, a successful marriage means that conflict is inevitable (it has absolutely no reflection on whether or not you are in a marriage that will last), but how you repair your conflict is much more important. 

Whether you are engaged, living together or married, work on healing your conflicts, create healthy communication and your relationship will last for the rest of your life together." So really, it doesn't matter whether you waited five years or five months to get engaged. When it comes to the question of how long should you date before getting engaged, the most important part is that you're confidently committed to one another. 

Do you agree or disagree? Give us your feedback at ndoatakatifu@gmail.com

Tips For creating a Successful Marriage – Share Your Dreams And Goals.

 

Lucxama and Sylvain

A marriage is never static. The two people, who make up the marital relationship, move on in their journey together through various stages of growth. Both as a couple and as individuals. This marital growth requires a great deal of commitment, trust, effort and reciprocity. Healthy and well-built marriages do not happen by chance, they are created by a lot of hard work.

The basic element of being one in marriage is companionship. Like friends, couples need to be open with each other about their interests, dreams and goals.

It is difficult for a married couple to deal with certain problems when there are no common goals established. Goals enable the couple to realize that they are not competing against each other, and help them to work together and support one another.

Married couples should cooperate and work towards these dreams and goals with all dedication and devotion. Do not give up if you and your spouse’s goals appear to be too different. Talk and recognize that you both have needs, and try to set goals that will enable both sets of needs to be satisfied. Often, as you share your dreams, you will discover that in fact you both have similar dreams and goals; it was just the direction that you each wanted to take was different. This difference of direction can then be dealt with as you talk.

Often when you take time to communicate with each other regarding your needs and motivations, you will be surprised to learn that you both have identical dreams and goals. This is likely to be what drew you together in the first place.

So what types of goals should you set? Goals can center on your children, the family as a whole, your individual careers, your possessions and your pastimes.

The following are guidelines to better understand and relate with your partner’s goals:

1. Know your spouse. Pay close attention to his or her habits and values.

2. Bond and respond. Whatever that goes on within your spouses life, in his/her career, you know that there are dreams and goals in each aspect. So be sensitive and take part; worry and celebrate in his/her accomplishments.

3. Let your spouse influence you. Be willing to share in his/her decisions. Understand his/her goals and when you do not agree at some point, at least support him or her…

4. Compromise. When your goals do not exactly match, know when to put the brakes if you feel that the conversation is becoming confrontational. Be calm and tolerant.

When you both have strong appreciation and understanding of all your dreams and goals you become closer together as a married couple, it makes married life a lot more pleasant and easier to handle. After all, you are partners in life.

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