CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE CONT... EQUALITY...

ARE HUSBANDS AND WIFE EQUAL IN OTHER ASPECTS OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP ALSO?

Christians give different answers to this question. There are two main opinions about the roles of husband and wife in a Christian marriage. The first opinion, which is held by most Christians, is that the wife is under the rule or leadership of her husband, whom she should obey. They point to Paul’s statement that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God (1Corinthians 11:3). Paul goes on to say that woman was created from man and also for man (1Corinthians 11:8-9), although in the Lord they need each other (1Corinthians 11:11-12). These Christians believe that the word “head” means that the husband is to “rule” or “lead,” and also to protect and preserve (Ephesians 5:25), feed and care for (Ephesians 5:29), and generally to be responsible for his wife. They point out that fathers are given the responsibility for their children (Ephesians 6:4; 1Timothy 3:4-5). These Christians also point to Paul’s command to wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord and in everything, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, his body (Ephesians 5:22-24). At the same time, husbands are commanded to love their wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25); they are to love their wives just as they love their own bodies (Ephesians 5:28). The apostle Peter also commanded wives to submit to their husbands, and he gave the example of Sarah who obeyed Abraham (1Peter 3:1-6).

But submission in marriage was never meant to be one-way. The section from Ephesians begins with a command to all believers: submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). Although Christ is equal with God, He submitted himself to the father (Philippians 2:6-8). Similarly these Christians think that the husband’s “headship” is headship amongst equals. Although husbands and wife are equal in their nature as humans, each has a different role to play and thus they submit to each other in different way. The wife submits to the husband as the leader or ruler to their home, just as we all submit to Christ; the husband submits to the wife by denying himself and giving himself up for her, just as Christ did for the Church.

The second main opinion concerning the roles of husband and wife in a Christian marriage is that their roles are not actually different at all. Christians who hold this position point out that although children and slaves are commanded to “obey” (Ephesians 6:1, 5); wives are never told to “obey” their husbands. Wives are commanded to “submit” to their husbands, just as everyone is commanded to submit to each other (Ephesians 5:21). Therefore, husbands also should submit to their wives. Peter reversed the usual custom of his time by telling the husbands to treat their wives with respect, instead of the other way around (1 Peter 3:7). Many Christian scholars believe that the Greek word translated “head” does not mean “ruler”. They say that it was never used in the New Testament to mean “ruler”, but rather it was used to mean “source of life” or “origin” (Ephesians 1:22, 4:15; Colossians 1:18; 2:10,19). Thus, according the view of this Christians, in 1 Corinthians 11:3 Paul means Christ is the “source of life” of every man, that woman came from man, and Christ came from God. This meaning fits very well with 1 Corinthians 11:8, 11-12. These Christians believe that God originally intended husband and wife to be equal. Although the sin of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden brought a curse on the woman (Genesis 3:1-6, 16), Christ has broken that curse, and Christian marriage should reflect that fact. If man and woman in marriage are indeed one flesh (Genesis 2:24), they should not be divided into “one who rules” and “one who obeys.”

Whichever of these two opinions one believes, the Bible makes it clear that both husband and wife are to commit themselves to their spouse. In fact, Jesus quoted approving the Old Testament statement that a man should leave his father and mother and be united to his wife (Mark 10:7). This doesn’t necessarily mean that a man has to leave his parent’s house, but it does mean that in his heart a man must “leave” his parents. A man must place his commitment to his wife above his commitment to his parents- and above his commitment to his Children also! In marriage the man and woman are no longer two but become one flesh (Mark 10:8). In some cultures, the spouse is actually called one’s “other half.”

God of course, must be placed higher than any other human. In fact, the closer a husband and wife come to God, the closer they will come to each other. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, it is stated that two people are better than one, and that a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. A Christian husband and wife, along with the third cord, God, make a powerful combination.